A Variety of Thoughts About Everything

"And How Well We Keep It" I like to read. I have ever since I learned how to read. Very early in my reading "career" I fell in love with, among many genres, Science Fiction. I still read a lot of Sci-Fi. There was one book that I read a long time ago, and shall soon reread I think, and very early on the two protagonists meet. And after they meet and separate the "Hero" is discussing a matter involving some things with another person. And, almost as an aside says the following about the other protagonist: "I admit I hadn't any notion of the part that W****** played in the matter - he's apparently an absolute devil." Now the person he was talking to was rather rattled by this and basically asked who had told him such a thing. And the following dialog took place: "No one. It's obvious isn't it?" "Not to ninety nine percent of the civilized worlds it isn't. What made it so obvious to you?" "Certainly any m...

 ... The Right Thing Usually Isn't. I was listening to another one of those stories on social media. And this line was said. And I thought that I really need to tackle this. Not because I disagree. I agree with it totally. Because I really want to unpack this and see what it looks like for me and maybe see something that I am missing. Whatever that unknown thing may be. Now let us look at the environment that surrounds that statement. I believe that Society that we live in makes this statement relevant throughout our history. If one studies history, as I do, we can see that Appearance has always mattered more than Substance. As long as everything looks good then everything is good. Right? The fact that inside everything is barren and broken, that there is no happiness or peace, that every day we feel a little more hollow and/or dead inside, none of that matters. Because we MUST keep up appearances'. Even when we are committing a wrong and hurtful thing, or looking away from a w...

 Some of us were talking a few days ago about Forgiveness and what it is and the process to be able to actual be able to forgive and not just say it or think it without meaning. And during this time someone talked about Being Judgemental of others and how that gets in the way of being able to forgive. So, before I continue, it is time to define the difference between making a Judgement and Being Judgemental. And, as always, I shall use dictionary.com as part of this. Judgement (Noun) 1) an act or instance of judging.    Synonyms: determination 2) the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion.      a man of sound judgment.    Synonyms: prudence, intelligence, wisdom, sagacity, perspicacity, discernment, discrimination 3) the demonstration or exercise of such ability or capacity.      ...

 One of the first things I wrote when I started writing this blog was a thing called " A Star Trek World ". And in that I talked about what that world looked like for me. It was, and is, a beautiful way of seeing the world. In my opinion. Since then we have had the National and International disaster that is Donald Trump. The ongoing Ethnic Cleansing in Gaza. The invasion of Ukraine. And rising tensions around Taiwan. And there is more. In Africa, Asia, North and South America, everywhere. There is a heck of a lot going on in this world right now which says that we are in trouble. The most troubling thing for me is not all of these things going on around the world. As horrific as they are. It is the very sharp divisions that run thru our various societies. Everywhere in the word we are seeing our societies getting fractured. Along Political, Sexual, Religious, Racial, etc, lines. All of the ways that we use to identify who we are is being used to further the separation from e...

 ... and what that means about us. In the last few months I have had a lot of stories show up on my Social Media newsfeed. And these stories all tell variations of the same story. In that story the narrator is either an angry old solitary man, widowed and retired and/or a biker. If retired a mechanic or some other type of person who works with their hands. Or someone who is really hurt and isolated who is sometimes thinking of extreme solutions who is a younger person in the finance or tech side of the world. In the narration there is usually some sort of talk about how the world is really loud with a lot of shouting going on in the media etc. And something then happens where the narrator has to interact with someone who is their complete opposite in everything political etc. And it becomes a heart warming story of people who disagree helping each other to survive in this loud and cold world. And, no matter whether the narrator is the older or younger person, and it is usually the ...

Throughout my life I have been in places where I feel like I have finally become someone and feel like I am finally able to just be. And then it all falls apart and somewhere down the road I find that I have gone thru another transformation, and that I have now become something other than I was. And then I settle down again to another time of Being. And the trap is that I then think that I have arrived, that this is it. And feel as if there are no more transformations left now. The problem with that is that then gets me into a place of Being Stuck. And, as anyone who has ever had a car stuck in deep and sticky mud or clay knows, once one is stuck it is difficult to get moving again. It usually, almost always, requires assistance. And, for me, Asking for assistance, asking for help, is the one thing one must never do. When I was young, very young, I learned that one cannot ask for help. One will never get it. In fact, one will usually get the exact opposite of help. What I could not see...

I was watching a blurb on a video channel from a fairly popular streaming show today. The scene was an elderly man talking to his very elderly Father and inviting him into his home for what is left of his life after years of estrangement. And at the end the Father said to the Son something to the effect of "I don't deserve this". And the Son replied "What does deserve got to do with it Pops"? And that kicked off a line of thinking that lead to this. A long time ago I went to a city that I had never been to before to visit family. A big event was happening and family from all over was coming to be a part of it. At that time I had about three and a half years in recovery from addiction. And one of the things that I had been taught from the beginning is to find a meeting when in a strange place. Well, this was a strange place indeed :-). So I called the local hotline. They told where there was a meeting about 15 minutes away from where I was in a little over an hou...

 ... you have to change the things in your life. Or, as we say in recovery, "If nothing changes then nothing changes". For a long time in my life I was trying to control the chaos around me by controlling all the people, places, events, and situations that were going on around me. I used the many tools manipulation to the absolute best of my ability. And failed. Completely. It never occurred to me that I would need to change myself, along with the people, places, and things around me. Because Change was a big, nasty, scary word with MEANING. And that meaning was Bad. And, in time, I came to a place of utter desperation where I had a choice, either do something radically different or just die and get it over with. And it was a razors edge difference in a just barely stronger will to live that won out in the end. And I had to give up control in order to do this. That was not fun. Nor was it easy. So I began to change the things in my life. I no longer hung out with the people t...

 I was watching a Youtube video the other day about the person's view of what the movie "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", the 2013 version, really means. And they did well in explaining their view and why they thought of that. I may or may not go into that at some future time. And in one moment they got into the statement of purpose of Life magazine which is as follows: "To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of LIFE." Now that is a pretty bold statement of purpose.  In order for me to better understand I am going to break this down for myself. "To see the world". And, in this context, I take it as not just looking at it. I see this as in actually Seeing it. As in the old greeting "I See You". And that greeting says, to me, that I see and accept all of you as you are and are not. To See the world in that context is a very bold undertaking. "...

 There is, and have been, family visiting. Over the last few weeks there have been a lot of family visiting. And, to be clear, these are all people that I love and who's company I genuinely enjoy. They are extending invitations for me to join them in activities. And they are not asking me to do anything that I don't, usually, like doing. And I am finding myself really not wanting to do these things at all. So what the f**k is wrong with me? Wrong question. The real question is "What the f**k is going on with me"? So, there is a lot going on with me. And for the most part it has to do with I am really "unwell" financially and it effecting every area of my life. Including my mood and etc. Most visibly, I do not want to interact with people at all. And little things that would not normally be a deal are just irritating as hell. And other things that are minorly irritating that usually I handle without a lot of stress are just majorly irritating and I am biting ...

I was reading one of those things that have been showing up on my Social Media pages lately that are "inspiring" stories of people throwing off chains that have been forged by "family obligations". I usually find them interesting in that the lengths that the people in these stories have allowed themselves to get to in order to be manipulated is usually pretty fantastic. Not saying that it cannot, or does not, happen to that extent, I just find it amazing that people have this little self awareness that they allow themselves to be put into these positions. And I digress. Near the end of one of these stories the protagonist said "Martyrdom is just control in a nicer outfit". That landed for me pretty heavily. I could identify with the statement for a lot of different reasons. I have been a person that manipulates others, in a very nasty way, in order to get what I want from them. And I have, at times, been surrounded by people who manipulate me in order for ...