A Star Trek World

If you know me, and a lot of you do, then you know that my childhood was not overly happy. Things happened and at about 5.5 years old I looked around, emotionally that is, not cognitively, and said to myself without words, "F*** this. I'm out". I then started using my first drug which was Imagination. And no matter how far into addiction I went, and I went pretty far, Escapism, escaping from a world that I did not like or trust, and that terrified me, was always my goal.

But that is groundwork for something else. The story of my addiction and continuing Recovery is for another time and place.

For a time my imagination was more of a yearning for a better place. I had no tools to work with as yet. And then, a Magical thing happened. I learned how to READ. And the first thing that I remember reading, that had a profound impact on my life, was a simple children's book about Greek Mythology. I read that book about a zillion times it seemed like. And all of a sudden my imagination had some tools to work with. I had Gods, Demi-Gods, Demons, Heroes and Villains of all sorts to work with. And my imagination took off.

And later I gravitated into History, Science Fiction, Fantasy, and other works. I fell in LOVE with the Three Musketeers and read all 5 books of that story.

All this fueled an imagination where I could be POWERFUL, Right Wrongs, Protect Woman and Children from those that would hurt them. All the things that I could not do in real life.

And then, we moved from out in the mountains where the only TV was 2 channels for sure from an antenna  on the roof that you could rotate into position with a third channel most of the time, to the town where they had this magic thing called CABLE. I discovered many things thanks to cable. The most important one is the TV show called Star Trek.

And the thing about Star Trek that was magic for me was that it showed a Universe where we all have a VOICE. Where differences are not made fun of, they are Celebrated. Where even enemies are respected and listened to. And that was a vision of Hope for me beyond compare.

Now over the years there have been many more shows and many movies added to the Star Trek Universe. Yet the core vision of "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations", where differences are celebrated, and we all have a Voice, has never been diverged from.

And that allowed me, in all of the years of torturing myself with Self Hatred, Self Abuse, Addiction, etc, to keep just a little bit of hope alive. A little bit of Faith that maybe, just maybe, this world that I live in, might not be totally beyond redemption. Possibly. The faintest hint of a possibility of a better world could be there for me.

After being in Recovery from Addiction for a while I began to see that Yes, this was not only Possible, it is Inevitable. When I get out of my own way and learn to LIVE. And in order to live I had to, and still have to at times, let go of some things. And these are Anger, Resentment, Fear, Judging, Isolation, and all of the Shields that I had developed in order to "Protect" myself. An ongoing project by the way.

And I began to see that a Star Trek World is possible for all of us. We can all have a Voice. We can all Celebrate our Differences instead of Fearing them.

For as Surak said;

"Here is the first part of the secret, Cast out fear. There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear... Now do not mistake me when I speak of 'casting out'. Some people will immediately this means rejection of fear, by pretending not to be afraid. They are not the same thing. Pretending there is not a Lematya in your house will not make it go away if there is one. You must at first admit to yourself that there is a Lematya-you must first accept it's presence. Then you can call the animal control people and have them come and take it away. But until you first admit that it is there, you are going to have a Lematya in your bed every night. It may save your pride not to admit it is there, but your bed will be increasingly crowded."

And there is more. However this is not about Surak. This is all about ME :-)

In my recovery work lately I have been working on Fear and the impact that it has on my life. Pretty extensive. And I have discovered that if I do not admit that I am afraid then that fear drives everything that I do. And when I am driven by fear, of not having enough, of not being enough, of being alone forever, of not having a voice, then I am driven to stupid things, all with the best intentions, which often produce the very thing that I was afraid of in the first place.

Making different choices all begins with admitting that I am afraid. First to myself. And I can lie to myself better than anyone else in the world, so getting past that can be difficult. And then. I have to admit it to YOU. I have to expose me to you. I have to be Intimate, which has nothing to do with Sex by the way, with you. I have to give you a clear and unobstructed view into me. And quite frankly that is the last thing that I ever want to do.

I want you to be afraid of me so you will hesitate to hurt me. So telling you I am afraid is the defeat of that. And yet, I find it is incredibly POWERFUL. For when I admit my fear and share it with you then possibilities open up that were never there before. A new vision becomes available to me. And then the power to act in ways that I never could while being secretly afraid.

So imagine if you will, a Star Trek world where we celebrated Diversity in all of it's weird and wonderful forms. Where we admitted when we are afraid and let others in to help us see past that. And where we helped others with there fear so that we can all grow. Where everyone, no matter what Age, Race, Gender, Religion or lack of Religion, or Financial and Social standing, has a VOICE that is heard and Respected.

What would that make Possible for You?