Funerals are for the living

 Today I attended my Aunt Rusty's Funeral. It was a very Catholic Ceremony. Seeing as she had become a Catholic before marrying her husband that makes sense.

After the funeral we went to the Cemetery where we had her and her Husband David's final internment. Again, a very Catholic Ceremony. And after that part we all had our own private little ceremonies in which to say Goodbye to two people that we loved.

And back at the Hotel there was the true remembrance. My Mother delivered a very moving Eulogy, a bunch of different people shared a variety of stories that had people laughing a lot and crying, emotions happened.

And all during this I was struck by how much we, the Living, needed this and how little those who have passed, Rusty and David, needed this.

It is thus the Living not the Dead who need this. The Living need to find a way to let go. The Dead have already let go and moved on to whatever is next.

And I am beginning to understand something that, while knowing it is true, I have never really understood.

Just because someone has died, that DOES NOT mean that the relationship is over. It has been Transformed somewhat. Yet it still exists.

And that is why we have our Ceremonies. So that we can Transform with the Relationship. So that we can begin to Relate to these people in a new way.

The Love that we bear for them is not gone. It will never be gone. Yet they are not here in this NOW. So we must relate to them differently. And the Ceremonies of Death help us to do that.

Thus, "Funerals are not for the Dead, but for the Living".

For the people in your life that have moved on to whatever is next, continue to relate to them. For the Relationship is not over. It has merely been Transformed.