Music and Memory

 For as long as I can remember I have had a deep connection with music. And with the music comes also memories of the time and sometimes specific events attached to that music. And that brings up, FEELINGS!!!

I was just recalling when I was in Grade school, Way School in Claremont NH to be specific, we used to have Music class. And we would always sing.

2 of my favorites to sing were the English version of "Hymn for Nations" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I can still recall the lines "Brother shout your countries Anthem, sing your lands undying fame", and the Hava Nagila. And to this day "Beethoven's 9th Symphony" and the Hava Nagila are 2 of my favorite pieces of music ever.

Growing up I heard a lot of Classical and Opera from my Mum. She really Loved Classical Music. And when she put on Opera, I disappeared as quickly as I could because she was doing House Cleaning and would press gang kids into cleaning with her unless really quick and sneaky 😇

I was also exposed to a lot of Irish and Scottish music thanks to my Step Father. He also exposed me to Country and Blue Grass, especially good finger picking, because he loved a show called "Hee Haw".

And thanks to my Aunt Scott and older Sisters and Brother I was exposed to a lot of Folk Music and Rock and Roll.

And thanks to a really bad local radio station I heard a lot of Pop Music and Disco.

So I had a lot of musical exposure in my early life.

And over time I developed tastes of my own. There was my Public tastes, the things that I thought would make me cool, "Led Zepplin" and such, heavier music, although NEVER "Kiss" thank you very much, and my much more private likes which rotated through a lot of different music over time, and had a lot of Pop and softer stuff in it.

I remember when I was 11 years old, we, the Family, got a cottage for a month over on Otter Pond in Georges Mills NH. Many stories around that month and I will tell this one.

Myself and my next youngest sister made friends with some of the local kids that lived there. We palled around a lot. And there was a song we all liked, a very poppy tune with a lot of synchronized singers and dancing involved. And we decided that we were going to learn how to dance and sing this song and become "Rock" stars.

So we practiced diligently. And my Step Father watched us doing this and seemed to be enjoying the show. Later on we came up with some costumes, and I should put that in quotes as well, and finally put on a show. And the adults were all very wonderful in their praise. All 3 of them I think. And my Step Father piled us all in the little outboard motor boat that we had use of and took us around the point to the little store and bought us all sodas and ice cream. We knew then that we were stars.

Later in life I developed a much darker perspective on life and my musical choices reflected this. I am brought to mind a very particular song which, I think, will perfectly represent that time in my life.

It is from the sound track of the movie "Heavy Metal". The song is called "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" by the band "Blue Oyster Cult".

And I think that the part that best represents my outlook at that point is the final verse:

 "Here I am a veteran

Of a thousand psychic wars

My energy is spent at last

And my armor is destroyed

I have used up all my weapons

and I’m helpless and bereaved

Wounds are all I’m made of

(Da da da da dadda da)

I’m not sure that theirs anything left of me

Don’t let these shakes go on

It’s time we had a break from it

Send me to the rear"

Now that is some bleak stuff right there. And as I was typing that out I could feel the bleakness that was my life then still waiting for me to re-engage it. Not memory of the mind, memory of the soul.

Later on in life, as I began to change my view of myself and the world around me, my musical tastes also evolved. I began listening to more upbeat stuff and the really bleak stuff  began to recede.

Lately I have been listening to a lot of the really old stuff from when I was much younger. And times, events, faces and names, have begun to re-enter my life. Only now it is the happier ones that I could not remember for so long as I was stuck on being sad.

Like the memory of watching "Hee Haw" and listening raptly as those guys did some incredible finger picking on guitar and banjo. And laughing uproariously at the song "Gloom, Despair, and Agony on me".

And I have also found myself crying at some of the music and not even understanding why.

Like recently listening to CSNY's "Carry On" both by them and also a cover by a group that looks like they are just having a blast doing this.

And then a Duran Duran song called "Ordinary World" which, I must say, I never appreciated when I was younger.

And many more. I find that as I listen to these things I am weeping, with joy mostly. Although occasionally sorrow.

Because I find that I am ok now. And these songs that are attached to so many memories of times, places, events, and people, have also taken on new significance as I have gotten older and continued my journey of Evolving.

As I keep going down this road these things are taking on deeper, and in many cases, much more joyful, connotations. No longer are they only chained to the past and all of the heaviness of that. They are also being attached to Gratitude, and Joy, Humility with a dash of Wonder.

Because I have been able to overcome those things and keep overcoming those things, to evolve into the person that I want to be, and maybe meant myself to become all along way back when I first picked this life to live.

Music has so much power with us as Human Beings. We can give it the power to drag us down with memories and emotions, or we can give it the power to uplift us with feelings of Joy, Gratitude, Humility, Wonder, etc.

So what are you listening to today?