Family 2

 As you who read my blogs know I am travelling at this time. My purpose of this travel is two fold: 1) Visit family. That is the main reason. 2) To ride my motorcycle in places that I do not know and discover new places and scenes. That is the minor, and still important, purpose.

And these purposes are being fulfilled most wonderfully. I have been visiting family in and around San Diego and riding my motorcycle all over the hills in and around Ramona which is in the hills outside San Diego.

A long time ago I chose to have much more family than just my genetic family.

Because My Family is who so ever I declare them to be.

Family is, for me, what I make it, and who I make it.

This started a long time ago with a youngster who is related to my brother and shares no DNA with me. Long story and not really pertinent at this time.

At the time this young lady was 14 or 15 and I was visiting where she lived. And her Mother asked me to please talk with her as she was having a hard time and maybe I could help.

Too this day I do not get why she thought this was a good idea. My life was a total mess and it would be years before that began to change.

Her and I began talking that day and we have never stopped. And very quickly thereafter I declared her to be my Sister. And she has been ever since.

So my family expanded.

Years later I began the process to finally get my act together. I stopped using, lost the desire to use, and found a new way to live. I came to believe that the promise of freedom from active addiction could be for me also.

And I discovered that there is another family available to me. My world wide family of choice in the Recovery World of Narcotics Anonymous. And I declared that these folks are also my Family.

So my family expanded again.

While here in Ramona I have been visiting. And I was trying to get a visit with my brother Art. He has been my brother since 2002 when we first met. Unfortunately his schedule and mine could never seem to match. And I know the Love is there.

On Monday night I went to the Rocking Recovery meeting of NA in El Cajon and met a bunch of my Fam. They were so "honored" by my visit they made me the leader 😂

And my family expanded again.

Tomorrow morning I am driving up to Oxnard, greater Los Angeles, to visit my older brother. I have already gotten in touch with some of my other fam to meet while there. And I will go to a meeting or two and meet some new members as well.

Years ago, in the recovery community that I lived in, their was a young lady, 15 at the time, who was in meetings because her school and the court system told her she had too. She did not want to be there and had a lot of anxiety's.

Over time her and I became friends. And one day she told me that she had decided that I was her NA Dad. I did not handle that well and she was hurt by my reaction.

Later I talked to the lady who was her sponsor at the time and asked her what that was about.

It turns out that her relationship with her biological father was really bad. And that she wanted a male figure, a father figure, that she could have a decent relationship with. And she thought that I could fulfill that role.

To say that I was floored by this would be a massive understatement. I was in absolute shock. And then the sponsor explained how much it had taken for this young lady to tell me this. And how hurt she was by my panicked reaction. And please accept this post as to help this young lady find some stability in her life.

I went and found the young lady and asked he if the position was still open and told her that I was willing to accept if she still wanted too. And she did.

At age 18 she stopped going to meetings and stopped talking to anyone in recovery. Except me. She is now 27 about to be 28 and every time we talk she still says "Hi Dad" and I say "Hi Daughter". I guess I have done and still continue to give her what she wants in the relationship.

And my family expanded yet again.

And I could give more examples. And I am sure that you get the idea.

Family is very important to me. And my version of family is not traditional at all. And I believe that we all have family that is not traditional. I think that we all have family that we do not recognize as family because they do not fit into that genetic box.

And there is nothing wrong or right with any definition of family. I believe that at the end of the day we must acknowledge that we are all part of the Human Family. And like all families we have our squabbles and troubles with various parts of that family. And we can hold grudges with different members of the family for generations.

My hope is that, before it is too late, we start healing those divides within the human family. I believe with all of my heart that in order for Humanity to survive we must heal the Human Family.

And that has to start with acceptance of all of us as members of the same family.

After all, we must Love each other or die. And, Love is the only Rational act.

This I know to be true.