Life and a Sense of Humor

 Today marks sixty one years that have passed since I popped outta me Mum and started breathing on my own. And I am reflecting on a few very important things that I have learned along the way. And one in particular.

For most of my life I took things VERY SERIOUSLY. Life was serious and I needed to be serious and that meant that I had to be in control at all times.

And, of course, I was totally out of control on pretty much every level and absolutely miserable. I tried to have fun. I did not know how to. I could fake it, approximate it, pretend it, and never really have it.

And then, again, being in Recovery from Addiction taught me a valuable lesson. I, gradually over a long period of time, learned to mellow out. And, like many other things, it was, and is, a process.

One of the first ways that I had an awakening around this was when a friend told me a story from the liquid fellowship (That is my loving nickname for the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous). It was the story of how a bunch of people in the very early days tried to setup a rehab based on the 12 Steps. Had it all planned out and had 61 rules of how to operate. It crashed and burned rather spectacularly. In the post mortem they came up with Rule 62, "Don't take yourself so damn seriously".

And for me this was a mind blowing concept. Not take MYSELF so seriously? I could not begin to fathom what that meant. And, over time, I began to see that the beginning was to recognize that it wasn't about me. The Universe did not ever revolve around me. I am, and always have been, just a thread in this marvelous tapestry of life.

And I began to lighten up.

Another thing that happened is I began reading the "Just For Today" daily meditation from NA. And for the first few years I really did not appreciate how pertinent the reading for my Birthday, June 19th, is every year. The title for that one is "A Sense of Humor". I think it was not until I had almost a full decade clean that I began to get it. And to laugh at myself every year in appreciation of what it is telling me.

After the title it says "We find that when we lose self-obsession, we are able to understand what it means to be happy, joyous, and free."

I was beginning to see that I had no freedom because I was completely Self Obsessed. Or, as a friend used to say as a semi joke, "I ain't much, but I'm all I think about". It was not until I began to be able to step out of myself and to be in the world of others that I began to let go of that self obsession. Being of Service to other really is the key here.

Letting go of Self Obsession is, for me anyway, an ongoing and probably life long process.

There are a couple of paragraphs in this reading that I am going to pass over. Otherwise I will be writing a novel and not a blog post. Let me just state that they are just as pertinent as the things that I am writing about.

It closes with "Just for Today: I will look to find humor in adversity. When I make mistakes, I will find a way to laugh at the humor of my imperfections".

To find humor in mistakes. That has taken, and is taking, a long time. Mistakes were not funny. They were horrible. Not allowed, yet constant. So how in the hell does one find humor in this?

It turns out that it is pretty easy actually. Because once I began to see the absurdity of this life, I began to see the humor in it. And I began to laugh. A lot.

And as I began to loosen up, as I began to laugh at myself and life, I began to experience the Freedom From Self that I had heard so much about. I started to be less rigid and much more forgiving. Of myself especially.

And I began to experience the Wonderful and Joyous aspects of life that I did not know before.

So, for me to be "Happy, Joyous, and Free" I have to be in the Humorous Joy of Life. Be relaxed and present to the incredible Absurdity of the Human Condition. To the Joyous Hilarity that is my own life.

Then, and only then, can I truly be Happy, Joyous, and Free.

So this is my ongoing journey. To not take myself so damn seriously, and to live in the Joyous and Hilarious Wonder of Being Human.

Care to join me?