Ups and Downs and My Community

 For a very long time in my life I was probably in a state that today would be labelled Manic Depressive. I was constantly depressed and then would go through a period of hyper energetic positivity. I feel what I feel with great intensity. And all of this was, usually, based on some event outside of myself. I got a job, met a new bunch of people, moved somewhere new, etc.

Add to this that I have always looked at the world differently than most people. I saw things in ways that other do not. Not better or worse, or right or wrong. Just differently. I can usually see multiple sides to everything. And even when I disagree with you completely, I can see why you think what you do and how you got there.

And enter into this a high empathy quotient. I can feel what you are feeling. I know usually why you are feeling it.

Put into the mix that I started studying Mythology and History when I was seven years old. I began to have an understanding of historical trends that most people are not even vaguely aware of.

Add to this Drug Use slash Abuse slash Addiction.

Put all the above together and one gets a very "interesting" life. All very High highs and very Low lows. Nothing really in between.

And then I entered into Recovery from Addiction. And people began to tell me things about my feelings that were like some weird dialect to me. I understood the words and had no idea what the hell they meant.

One of them was "Feelings are not Facts. They are only Feelings. And your only job is to feel them".

And I was like HUH? What does that mean? I had no experience at all with just feeling. I was always overwhelmed by feelings. So I tried to suppress, change, or in any other way possible manage feelings. Because they were bad. Right? Turns out No. Not right.

And Feelings Not being Facts? What the heck are you talking about? The only real thing in my life was how I felt about it. I used to say "It ain't real until I feel" and mean it. And having to learn how not facts they are, and that they will frequently Lie to me, that was not fun. It meant, and still means, reorientating my life from Feeling to Fact, IE Reality.

And many more lessons. All about how I viewed myself and the world around me. I went from a mostly negative view of the world around me to a mostly positive view of the world around me. And I still struggle, at times, to stay on the positive view side.

And how did all this happen? Because, for probably the first time in my life, I found a place where I truly felt as if I belonged. And, in reality, I did and do.

I found a community of like minded people whom had each others best interest at heart. I found my Peeps.

And with the help of this community I began to learn how to live this life that I had, before, only existed in. I began to Live a Life Worth Living. And I, for the most part, stopped just existing.

As I continue on through life I have joined some other communities as well. And they all fit certain criteria. They all are people with a common purpose, whatever that purpose is. They are all people who have the best for each other at heart. The common good I would call it. And it has people who will willingly help each other when in difficulties.

And my first community, Narcotics Anonymous, is where I still live and learned all of these things.

Over the years I still have the emotional ups and downs of life. That is just a part of life. And I have these like minded people to help me through all of this. I never have to do anything alone. I can choose to if I want, and I have made that stupid choice a few times. Usually because of Feelings attached to whatever it is. And it is not until I go to my Community and ask for help that the pain passes.

Without Community I would not be here.

And lately I have been having conversations with people I know who are feeling alone or stuck. And I always find that they are not members of a community. They have friends and acquaintances, loved ones of various sorts, and people that are very helpful to them in many ways, yet they lack Community.

And again, a Community is a group of like minded people who are joined in a common purpose. And the ones in this context usually have the purpose of Personal Growth and Self Development in some way or another.

And there are many communities out there that fit this definition. What do you wish to transform today about you and your life? I would be willing to bet that there is a Community out there dedicated to this idea. Make sure that Community has some strong guidelines on how they do it and check them out.

And that is what I tell people today who seem a bit lost or overwhelmed. Stop carrying the World by Your Self and find a Community that fits you. Get people in Your corner. Learn how to be of service in that community and transform your life so that you can Live the Life you want instead of the existence that you have.

Today I know my Community. Do You?