When People Care

 When I was young I felt like nobody cared about me. I was totally wrapped inside my head and really felt like I was alone. That nobody cared if I lived or died.

And this was a really interesting dichotomy. I knew that people in my family cared for me, yet I never felt like it. And because of many different things going on within the family it was easy to live in the world of "No one cares" and "I may as well be dead".

And that was the world that I lived in for a long time. It was a very lonely world. A very empty world.

And then, I began to learn how to be human. I began to unlearn  being self centered and began to learn how to care about others, to empathize, to like myself and others.

I still have a long way to go on all of those. I cannot practice any of these things any where near as well as I can discuss them. It is an ongoing, and very Human, journey.

And I began to really feel like there are people in this world who care about me. About me as me and me as a Human Being. That really was and is a first.

Over time I have learned how to show other people that I care for them. Which has also been a learning process. And again, I talk about it much better than I do it. I have gotten better. And there is still plenty of room for improvement.

I remember, a long time ago, asking a person, "How can you tell if someone cares about you for real"? And they answered, "It shows up in their actions".

I did not understand what this meant. And it took me a long time to learn this.

An amount of time later I began to see it, that those who I wanted to hang around with were showing certain types of behavior. And those behaviors felt good to me. And they went like this:

• They would call and ask how I was doing and not ask for anything. Then actually listen to my answer.
• They would show up for me when I needed help in whatever fashion that I needed help.
• They would listen to my dreams and never say anything that was not supportive.
• If they felt that I was headed in a bad direction they would let me know what they thought and felt about the direction that I was headed in.
• And when they were in need of an ear or other help they would let me help.

There is more, many, many more. And you get the idea. What I am basically talking about is these people would Show Up.

And, over time, I began to learn how to show up for other people. And I learned that showing up, being a able to show in my actions that I cared for others, felt good. That showing up helped to build Self Esteem.

I remember being told that if I wanted self esteem then do esteem able things. I had never realized how simple an idea that was and is.

Over the years I began to see that some people who had been there for me had changed the actions that they displayed towards me formerly. I remember one of the big ones being that I began seeing that with a couple of people that the only reason that we still had communication was because I was initiating it every time. And that this had been going on for a while.

So I tried an experiment. I tried not initiating communication. I wanted to see how long that it would take for them to notice it and get back to me. One I have not heard from several years later. Another I saw at an event over a year later and they asked me why I had not called. I reminded them that the phone works both ways. I still see them around occasionally.

These are not bad people. And I am not trying to say or imply that they are. I have just had to let them go emotionally because we have grown in different directions and the closeness that I thought was there is no longer there. I still have Love for them.

I also began looking into my own life and looking at where are the people whom I believed I Love and the Actions are no longer matching my Words. Fortunately I did not see any at that time. And I continue to take a personal inventory on that and have not allowed myself to fall into that.

And all of this reflection was kicked off by a singular event. I am currently in a place that gets hit by major storms. And one came thru a few days ago.

And I had several people texting me and making sure that the situation is ok. And I really appreciate the messages asking and showing concern.

I had a friend, person I have known since 1989, who called me up and expressed concern and care personally. This person was very relieved when I told them how little impact this storm was having and was projected to have on the place where I am for the moment.

So we caught up for a few minutes and then ended the phone call with how we always end the phone calls and letters to each other, we told each other "I Love You".

And to me that was a perfect example of how caring for another shows up in the world. Because the Words and the Actions of each of the people involved are in alignment.

And this gives me great Hope for all of us. If I can learn to have my thoughts and actions line up around caring for others, if others can show in their lives when they care, then maybe, just maybe, we, as the Human Race, can survive all of the negative energy being thrown around lately.

Because life all comes down to this, We Must Love Each Other or Die.

And it starts with ME. And YOU.

Each one of us MUST learn how to Love Thy  Neighbor as Thyself.

Love. It is the Only Rational Act.