I Am The Creator

 So many different times in my life I was in a place of misery that I was not finding enjoyable at all. In my negative, at that time, view of life I was not finding any part of my life uplifting or enjoyable.

And I had no idea that it could be any different. I just figured that this was my life and that was all there was to it. Nothing was ever going to change.

Pretty bleak way to exist in life in my point of view.

Many years later, or ago, depending on the perspective, I began my journey of life. And I say began because I feel that I was not truly living before this. I was merely existing. Going through the motions one could say.

And as I learned how to be a Human Being I began  to see that all along I had been making choices about how to live and, more importantly, who I Am as a Human Being. And even though those choices were made not knowing that I had choices I was still making those choices. By default.

It is kinda like the old thing in court, Ignorance of the Law is no excuse for breaking the law. And just because I did not know I was making choices every moment, or that I could make choices, it was no excuse for the choices that I was making.

I have been the Creator of my Life from the beginning even though I had no idea that this was so.

All by the Choices that I make. Especially the unconscious ones.

When one is living in an unconscious state and making choices by default it is, at least in my experience, a totally negative set of choices. And I remember when, every once in a while, I would make a choice, to show up, to be kind, or whatever, it was a conscious choice. If left to my own unconscious I would not have done it that way.

I have had to learn, and relearn over and over again, that I have to make choices in my conscious mind. That the words "I have no choice" can no longer be a part of my vocabulary. That just because a choice is one that I do not like, or it looks like I have no alternatives, that none of that matters. I still have choices within those parameters.

One of the most powerful stories of choice I have ever seen is a story that I do not know if it is real or not. And it still shows choice in the most powerful way.

This story is of a young, just married, couple walking across a set or railroad tracks. And the ladies foot gets caught in the tracks. As her and her husband are trying to free her foot they hear the sound of a train approaching. A homeless man comes over and starts helping to try to get the ladies foot out of the tracks. And they stayed there until the train killed all three of them.

Now the Husband made a choice to stay and try to free his wife even though up until the last second he could have made the choice leap away.

The homeless man stayed, even though it was established after the fact that he had never met either of them before, when he could have leapt away also.

These are two people who made the choice in the face of certain death to keep on trying to free another.

To me, that is a most powerful declaration of making a choice that gives life and death meaning.

Today I acknowledge that every choice that I make creates my life as it is. Today I acknowledge that if my life is not working for me then I need to look at the choices that I am making and no where else for a solution. Today I acknowledge that I can make different choices even when I do not believe that I can.

So what about you? Are you making choices with your conscious mind or by default? Are your choices a true example of who you are as a Human Being? Are you making choices to Live or just Existing?

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