Being a Failure Versus Failing
For a very big chunk of my life I felt like a failure. It was not something that I talked about or allowed myself to think about. As far as I was concerned, way deep down inside that totally unacknowledged part of me, it just was the way my life was. There was no need to think, discuss, or do anything about it because that was just life. A very fatalistic point of view. And I went thru life Being A Failure, performing actions that gave me the evidence I needed to prove myself right. A very Self Defeating circle. Essentially my life was circling the drain like a toilet bowl that has been flushed. And I felt like there was nothing that I could do about it. And everything that I did and felt reinforced that feeling that there was nothing that I could do. But, of course, there was something that I could do about it. And one day, in my young 30's, I began that journey of transitioning my life from circling the toilet bowl to being something that I could actually feel was worth living. ...