Being Spiritual - It's An Inside Job

 I was watching an old TV show last night. A Private Detective show that ran from 1974 to 1979. There are a lot of fun things about this show and many observations that I can make from it.

Here is one.

The main guest that night was a woman who had just 40 years old. Was in denial about her age. And she was a "New Age" spiritualist. She was what could be called, in some traditions, a Seeker. She was on the search for something outside of herself to define herself by.

And she kept going in for the Wise Man situation. A guru, or Spiritual Leader, a man, who espoused some way of "Being Spiritual" that was really just a way for him to suck people dry. And the episode showed how she was finally exposed to the truth about her latest guru and how it hurt her.

And then, at the end of the episode, some time had passed, and the main character ran into her again at what, I think, was a bus station.

And she was professing her faith in a major religion here in the states. Only this was a small sect with a guru. A "Teacher". And she was working with another to sell the man's book at $7.00 a piece. Which in 1978 was a bit more than it is today.

And she had changed her name again and was, again, completely dedicated to the teachings of this man. She would not go with the main character to take a five minute break and visit because her assigned task was to sell the guru's book. And, in the end, the main character just said it was good to see her again and wished her well and walked away.

I am reminded of when I was much younger. I too was lost. I too was a "seeker". I wanted something outside myself to define who I was because I had no definition of myself for myself.

So I went down a lot of different paths. I did try religion, and some new age spirituality. And the one thing that they all had in common was that they had me looking outside of myself for a spiritual definition of myself. And the teachers were all convinced that they had a special calling because they had hooked themselves to this outside force.

And I never could see any of this. And, to be clear, for my entire life I have never been able to make sense of this "God" that lived in the sky or any other tradition that had a being outside that we were supposed to worship or revere. I just never could wrap my head around that.

Yet, everyone who I knew, had read about, or heard talking about it, the society that I grew up in, said that this was the way to go. That there was an outside force that commands you to worship it, that is the only path. So I kept trying. And "failing".

I was also experiencing the many facets of addiction during this time as well. A full blown addict, drugs was merely the most visible symptom of the dis-ease of addiction, I was lost and looking for a way to be "found".

And finally, I found Recovery. For me, it is based in the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Along with the Fellowship and Being of Service, first in the fellowship and then in life.

And I heard a lot of people talking about this god of theirs. Some of it religious. And some of it not. Yet, they all told me, in many different ways, the same thing, that I had to find this god of theirs, or some god of the outside, some Power Greater than Myself, or I would use again.

And for years I tried. I wanted to live a spiritual life, stay clean, be a functioning member of the society around me, and Recover from the dis-ease of Addiction.

And I could never find this god of theirs. It just never made sense to me.

On September 11th 2001 that horrible day in New York happened. And I became decidedly unpopular for a while not long after that. Because I understand the people who flew the planes. And I stated so publicly.

I understood them because I remembered when I was lost and looking to be found. And if I could have found someone and something that I could believe in that told me it wasn't my fault, that "they" were the enemy, that "they" would help me to reclaim my "rightful" place in the world, then I could have very easily been converted into someone who would create atrocities like September 11th, or January 6th, and kill without feeling anything bad. And even, knowingly, give up my life in order to get mine.

I still do understand them.

So, after many years, I began to see that, for me, my journey of spirituality, I did not need to find this god everyone talked about. That this god did not exist for me at all and that is good.

And I began an inward journey of Spirituality that did not involve any outside god.

And I began to see a lot of different things.

I began to see that underneath it all, at, for want of a better term, a Quantum level, we are all connected. We Are One Being. That the energy that is each Unique Individual person, blade of grass, rock, etc, are all the same and connected to each other in the deepest of places in our existence.

That We Are One. All of Us. And Everything Else.

I have heard it said that "The Universe was alone and lonely and knew nothing yet. And it broke itself into it's smallest possible pieces in order to experience things and grow. We are the Universe trying to figure itself out". Not sure about how I feel about that. It does, however, come close to what I experience as a Spiritual way of Being.

I have also heard it said "Thou Art God". And I believe this comes close to what I experience.

We also have the Indian Sanskrit word Namaste. In it's most literal form it means "I bow to you". In a slightly deeper context it just says "I recognize the place in you that is your inner light". And, in it's deepest form it means, "I see YOU". And that comes closest to what I experience.

This is a very deep and personal expression of an inner light. It is also an expression of Responsibility. Because I am not looking to any outside force to tell me what to do or how to be. I am Responsible for my Life.

I can be helped along this path, guided if you like, by all you other Spiritual Beings out there. If I am willing to let you. And, in the end, it is up to me.

Because, in my experience, I am Responsible for my Life. All of it. Not some sky god who directs all things. Not some evil twin tempter that can "misguide" me. Nothing but me.

And, if I am willing, I can go inside, I can feel that deep, deep, place where we are all connected, where all wisdom lives, where we are all One, and find what is needed to truly Live a Life of Meaning and Purpose.

For, in the end, is that not what we all seek? A Life of Meaning and Purpose?

So here is the real kicker which I believe to be true. Neale Donald Walsch said it best in the movie The Secret. So I will quote him:

"There is no blackboard in the sky on which god has written your purpose, your mission, in life. There's no blackboard in the sky that says 'Neale Donald Walsch, a handsome guy, who lived in the first part of the 21st century, who, colon,' and then there is a blank, you know. And all I have to do, to really understand what I'm doing here, why I am here, is to find that blackboard, and find out what god really has in mind for me. But the blackboard doesn't exist. So your purpose is what you say it is. Your mission is the mission you give yourself. Your life will be what you create it as, and no one will stand in judgement of it, now or ever."

So it is an inside job. To seek connection with others, which I believe is everyone's mission and purpose in life, one must first have a deep connection with one's own self.

I also believe that to have a true connection with the Self, and then Others, it must come from a place of Love. That Anger and Hatred, all of those draining emotions, will completely stop one from being to able to have a connection that is real.

And what is Love? It is, I believe, the Truest Expression of Spirituality that there is. That without Love we are all doomed.

So, in my experience, we must go inside, being responsible for our complete life, and find that Inner Light, the Love that exists within each of us, and channel that deep Inner Connection to Everything that makes us all whole and complete, and One, and from that place, Miracles will happen.

So too all of us, my Brothers and Sisters, my Opposite and Self, go inside. Find Your Inner Light, your deepest Expression of Love, and Welcome Miracles into your life. And be the Expression of Love and Miracles for others. Be the Light which lights the light in others and help us all to shine.

For, Love is the only Rational act and, we must all Love each other or die.

This I know to be true.

Namaste