How We Remember People

 Just recently I came face to face with my own mortality. I was very sick and the Doctor who fixed me said that if I had waited much longer then they might not have been able to help me. It was that close.

Kinda got me looking at things again. And remembering some things.

Some years ago a cousin of mine passed away. He was young, mid fifties, and it was not expected.

One of my Aunt's had been complaining about him for years. Not real bad, just things that she felt were places where he was not living up to who he could have been and was, in her opinion, falling short.

Not long after myself, my Mum, and my Aunt, were traveling and hit a store for things. As we were shopping she started talking about my cousin. And her whole tone had shifted. He was now a Saint who could do no wrong.

As I was listening to her I was also remembering the way she spoke about him before. And I realized that neither of these people she talked about was the real person. Both of them were colored by her perception of who he was.

And, to be fair, we all see people not as they are, we see them colored by our perception of them. It is a very rare person indeed that can see people wholly and completely as they are.

I do not claim to be one of those people. I feel that I have a clearer view than most, yet I am human and have my own perceptions that color my view. No matter how much I move them aside.

After she had gone on for a while I started reminding her of some of the things that she had said about this cousin before he had passed away and asked her which one was true. She got very irritated with me for that.

I could have been gentler. I was not.

And I am also looking at myself for this.

How I remember both my Father and my Step Father was drastically colored for a long time. I never saw either one of them as they are. I saw them thru my own, very nasty and negative, perception of them. It has taken me many years of working on my self, getting a clearer view of me, because I saw myself thru a very negative perception as well, that I began to be able to see them.

I still do not have a complete picture of them as they actually were. However, my vision of them is much clearer and closer to the reality of them. I do not know if it shall ever be completely clear. And it is much clearer.

I find that, for me, and I suspect everyone, though I do not "know", that one must know ones Self before one can see others.

So now, after my major health scare, and being much closer to being dead than I knew, I am thinking about how we remember people.

And, how shall I be remembered?

I hope that I shall be remembered in a positive light. I have done a lot of work on my self to make better those places within that I feel are negative and contrary to who I want to be in this world.

I know that no matter how long or how much work I do that there are always going to be people who will not see me that way. And that is ok.

One of the things that I have learned is that when I look at people thru my perceptions, and when other people look at me thru their perceptions, what is being seen really does not say anything about the person being seen. It says everything about the person who is doing the seeing.

Whether me or anyone else.

So as I go thru the world healing what I can and accepting all things, some days better than others for sure, I am also working on healing the relationships in my life so that we, all the people in my life and myself, can truly see each other.

I also accept that this is not always possible. Because most people are not doing the work on themselves needed to be able to. And that is ok.

We are all Human and Flawed. We all see things that are not real as we are seeing thru our perception. We are all healed or not to the extent that we look within and face the things that we do not want to.

It is a Joyful Journey of Self Discovery when I clear my vision of others. Although it does not often feel that way when I am in the middle of that journey.

And I will not stop.

So, where are you looking at others thru a wounded perception? Where are you not seeing the person in front of and only seeing the perception of them that you have?

And, are you willing to take a Journey of Self Discovery so that you can see Your Self clearly and then see others clearly?

I promise you that it is worth it.