Surrender to Win

This is something that one hears in the 12 Step Recovery world a lot. Surrender to win. And when I was first starting my journey of Recovery I could not grasp this concept in the slightest. I could somewhat understand it intellectually. I just was baffled by it on any level deeper than that.

Fortunately I had people who insisted that I use a Dictionary and look things up. And yes, I started this journey before the Internet was really a thing. I had to buy and actual Dictionary. Today we are going to use Dictionary.com to look these words up.

Surrender:

verb (used with object)

1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress.
2. to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
3. to give (oneself ) up, as to the police.
4. to give (oneself ) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc. He surrendered himself to a life of hardship
5. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

Synonyms: renounce

1. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.

   Synonyms: forgo, abandon, cede, waive

I think that number 1 and number 4 actually fit the context of this discussion better than the others. You get to choose for yourself which one, if any fit for you.

To:

preposition

1. 1. (used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached, as opposed tofrom ).

2. They came to the house.

3. 2. (used for expressing direction or motion or direction toward something) in the direction of; toward.

4. from north to south.

In the definition for use as a Preposition there are Twenty Two separate definitions. I believe the first two are the ones that fit in this context.

adverb

1. 1. toward a point, person, place, or thing, implied or understood.

2. 2. toward a contact point or closed position.

        Pull the door to.

1. 3. toward a matter, action, or work.

       We turned to with a will.

      4. into a state of consciousness; out of unconsciousness.

      after he came to.

For the adverb section of the definitions I believe that number one works best for this context.

Win:

verb (used without object)

1. to finish first in a race, contest, or the like.

   My story won in the short fiction category.

2. to gain the victory; overcome an adversary.

   The home team won.

3. to succeed by striving or effort.

   He applied for a scholarship and won.

4. Slang. to be successful or competent and be acknowledged for it.

   My sister wins at finding the best bargains.

In this context I believe that number 3 really is the best. And, again, you get to choose for yourself which one best suites your experience.

So, Surrender to Win. A paradox if I ever saw one.

Paradox:
noun
1. a statement that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
   “Less is more” is a paradox often repeated in the arts and other fields.
   It is a paradox of healthy grief that we must work at it while surrendering to it.
2. any person, thing, or situation displaying an apparently contradictory nature.
   In the media the candidate was called a paradox—an unpopular populist.
3. a self-contradictory and false statement, especially one arising from seemingly acceptable premises and correct logical argument.
4. time paradox.
5. Also called paradox illusion. an optical illusion depicting an impossible object, often a two-dimensional figure that the viewer intuitively interprets as representing a three-dimensional one, but which cannot actually exist in three dimensions: brought to popular attention especially by the work of M. C. Escher.
6. Archaic. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.

For this context I believe that number one works best.

And, as always, you are free to draw your own conclusions. I am giving my perspective of this. If you see it differently then please tell me about it in the comment section. And put your first name on it so I have some idea who I am replying to if and when I choose to reply.

There we have it. Two completely apposite ideas put together to become something greater. An Idea of how to live life.

And yet, as Humans, and especially if one is an American, this is contradictory to everything that we are taught about how to live. Especially as a Male of the species.

As an American Male I was brought up to emulate men like John Wayne in the movies. Where Men handled their own business, took care of the Ladies, very rarely, if ever, showed their true feelings, and never admitted to being scared. Had to be Tough.

And then I showed up in the Recovery World and people kept showing me, thru their words and actions, that the real winners in recovery had learned how to surrender. I was baffled.

And I also started hearing people say "I had to surrender to my disease/addiction". I was even more baffled by that than the title phrase. I will be revisiting this later.

Eventually something happened. Today I recognize it as the beginning of the process of surrender. And it truly was the beginning. I have since found that surrender, like life, is an ongoing process that some days I do better than others. I did not, however, understand what this was. I just knew that my life was very slowly improving.

And I slowly kept getting better. Because I was fighting every surrender until the pain got great enough that I finally was willing to let go. I understand today, on a very deep level, another saying, everything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it.

And I began to understand something else as well. The "surrender to my disease/addiction" was and is not the truth. It is misinformation.

When I was about five and a half years old and I dived into my first drug, my imagination, that was when I began to surrender to my disease/addiction. And later on when my imagination was not by it self sufficient and I took up Lying I furthered my surrender to my disease/addiction. And later on when my imagination and lying was not sufficient and I took up shoplifting I furthered my surrender to my disease/addiction. And when my imagination, lying, and shoplifting were no longer sufficient and I took up my first drug I furthered my surrender to my disease/addiction. And every further drug, behavior, degradation that I took up furthered my surrender to my disease/addiction.

Later on the signs that I had surrendered to Recovery/Spiritual Principles were visible as well. I began to pause instead of react. I would think before speaking. My language changed and I began to speak in Positive terms instead of Negative terms. My life began to have that elusive property, Stability, in it. Even, at times, Peace.

If you want to know what I have surrendered to just look at how I am living my life. Am I behaving in a Positive manner then I have probably surrendered to my Recovery/Spiritual Principles. If I am behaving in a Negative Manner then I have probably surrendered to my Disease/Addiction.

Because, you see, Surrender is not a one time thing. Surrender is a Process. It is not an Event, it is a Lifetime. And sometimes I backslide.

From Moment to Moment I get to choose what I am surrendering to, who I am going to be. Am I going to be an Addict in Recovery or am I going to be an Addict stuck in my Dis-Ease?

And I hate to tell you this folks, addiction isn't about drugs. That was only the most visible aspect of addiction that everyone, except me until I could no longer avoid it, could see. Addiction is about what goes on in my Heart, my Head, and my Spirit.

In order to actually Recover, which is also a Process and not an Event, those are the parts of me that I must heal.

So I must Surrender to the Process of Recovery. I must Surrender my Right to be Selfish to the Process of Recovery. I must Surrender my Right to be Right to the Process of Recovery. I must Surrender my Right to Make You Wrong to the Process of Recovery. I must Surrender my Wounds to the Process of Recovery.

And, as always, more is revealed. And new ways of the need for me to Practice Surrender show up for me.

And in that process my Chains are Broken and I am made Free to Be Human.

My Process of Recovery is the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. I have done work outside of that to supplement that Process, and the 12 Steps are where I Live.

There are many different roads to Recovery from whatever you have a need to heal your Body, Mind, and Spirit from.

Find what works for you. Explore. And Have fun.

My questions are thus:

• Are you willing to face yourself and heal?
• Do you truly want to be Free?
• Are you ready to be the best Human you can be?

I Promise You, if you do the work then all this, and more, is possible for you also.

After all, if I can do this then anyone can.

Peace ✌