Everything Happens For A Reason

I grew up in 'merica. Which means that the Christian Religion was a part of how things were. And are. And there were many times thru out my growing up years where I heard the above saying. A lot. 

And for me that, like religion, just never worked. It never made sense to me. Just like religion never made sense to me.

And I have heard it a lot in recovery as well. People keep saying "Well everything happens for a reason". And I find that irritating a hell.

For me, when one says that, they are basically denying that they have any power in their life. That this "god" of theirs is responsible for everything and they have "no choice" in the matter. Because "everything happens for a reason" is coded speech for their "god" has willed it to be.

According to all of the "sacred writings" that I have ever read, which includes the christian bible, we are  creatures crated in our creators image with free will.

Free Will.

Which means we can, and must, make choices.

To me what this does is excuse one from being Responsible for their life. It is a cop out, total denial of the part that we all play in our own lives. Because if your "god" wills such a thing to happen then there is absolutely nothing that one can do about this. Yes?

In my world our lives are the result of Choices. I make a choice about something. That has an impact on my life. It may also, and usually does, have an impact on the lives around me.

Someone else makes a choice. It impacts their life. It may, and usually does, impact the lives of those around them.

So when I make a choice, I am responsible for the impact it has on my life and those around me. When others make a choice, then they are responsible for the impact that it has on their life and the lives around them.

And, when I am impacted by the choices of those around me, I am responsible for whether I Respond or React. No one else is responsible for that. Only me.

So let us define these terms. Thank you dictionary.com

Respond:

verb (used without object)
1. to reply or answer in words.
to respond briefly to a question.
2. to make a return by some action as if in answer.
to respond generously to a charity drive.
3. to react favorably.
4. Physiology.,  to exhibit some action or effect as if in answer; react.
Nerves respond to a stimulus.
5. to correspond (usually followed byto ).
6. Bridge.,  to make a response.

1. Synonyms: rejoin
2. Synonyms: reply, react, rise

React:

verb (used without object)
1. to act in response to an agent or influence.
How did the audience react to the speech?
2. to act reciprocally upon each other, as two things.
3. to act in a reverse direction or manner, especially so as to return to a prior condition.
4. to act in opposition, as against some force.
5. to respond to a stimulus in a particular manner.
reacting to a shock by jumping; to react to the word “coward” with anger.
6. to undergo a chemical reaction.

In my world the way one Responds is with a pause, after reflection, and with deliberation. Even if all this takes place in a moment. It is with and after consideration and being aware of the situation for what it is and is not.

And, in my world, the way one Reacts has no pause no reflection, no deliberation at all. It is a preprogrammed set of responses that kick in automatically. One literally "gets their buttons pushed" and a reaction happens. And it usually has nothing to do at with the actual situation that one is reacting to.

Now, getting back to the original premise of this, yes, everything does happen for a reason. And the reason is, someone made a choice. And that choice has consequences. And some people have Responded to that choice and some people have Reacted to that choice. And the initial choice, whether an open choice, a response, or a reaction, has ripples.

And responding or reacting is also a choice.

Everything is a Choice. Every bit of it.

And then we Create Reasons to Justify our Choice. Most of the time After the Fact. Very Rarely Before the Fact.

And even more rarely, we make choices with full consideration and knowledge of what we are choosing and why we are choosing it. Most of us, even when we do give things consideration and reflection, are still running off of our Pre-Conceived notions of things. We are still looking thru our own set of "glasses" at the world.

And yes, I include myself in that statement.

And this reminds me of something. For those of you old enough to remember it, there was a movie in 1977 called "Oh God". It starred George Burns as God and John Denver as the guy that was chosen to be the spokes person of god. It was a pretty good movie as I remember it.

There was a scene late in the movie where the John Denver character was on trial and called god to the stand. And he was asked several questions one of which was "Can you tell the future"? To which god answered "Sure. The second it becomes the past". And then went on to explain that because of Free Will the future was wide open and unknowable by him or anyone.

So, in my world we live in a world where Choices Matter. Where how we make Choices Matter. And how we Respond or React to those Choices Matter. It all matters to everyone.

And, being Meaning Making Machines we assign meaning to everything. Or, as people call it, a Reason to everything.

And if your Meaning, or Reason, needs to be "Gods Will" then I fell bad for you. Because that means that you have no Agency in your own Life at all.

That you are a Victim of your God. By Choice.

A rather sad world to live in.

In my opinion.

Peace ✌