The Paradox Of Recovery

 And Life.

Paradox: (Thank you Dictionary.com)

1. 1) a statement that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.

   “Less is more” is a paradox often repeated in the arts and other fields.

   It is a paradox of healthy grief that we must work at it while surrendering to it.

2. 2) any person, thing, or situation displaying an apparently contradictory nature.

   In the media the candidate was called a paradox—an unpopular populist.

   Synonyms: riddle, anomaly, puzzle

3. 3) a self-contradictory and false statement, especially one arising from seemingly acceptable premises and correct logical argument.

4. 4) time paradox.

5. 5) Also called paradox illusion. an optical illusion depicting an impossible object, often a two-dimensional figure that the viewer intuitively interprets as representing a three-dimensional one, but which cannot actually exist in three dimensions: brought to popular attention especially by the work of M. C. Escher.

6. 6) Archaic.,  an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.

There are many Paradoxes in recovery and life.

One of my favorites is the term "Surrender to Win".

It is, on the face of it, a complete paradox. The two are mutually exclusive one would think. Yet, in Recovery, one must Surrender ones right to use mood and mind altering substances in order to Win a Life worth living. I also believe that for me I had to Surrender to the Program of Recovery as outlined in the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous in order to Win Being a Human Being.

So how does this work in everyday life for people who may not have an issue with addiction? Easy. People who surrender, in whatever way that they can be comfortable with, to a Way of Being that allows them to grow as Human Beings seem to be, on the whole, much happier in this life. They Surrendered to some direction and become something greater than they were before and therefore Winning Happiness and Fulfillment in this life.

At least as I see it.

Another is "In order to keep it you must give it away".

Again, completely opposite, even mutually exclusive, terms that work. It works like this, in recovery we have been given a precious gift. The gift of Recovery from Addiction. And, in order to keep that precious gift we must share that gift with those who show up seeking. Maybe not seeking recovery. Maybe no idea that they are seeking at all. And not everyone will stay after hearing about and even experiencing recovery. And we must share it to anyone and everyone. In the sharing we get to keep the gift that we have received.

So how does that work out in the rest of the world? Those who give back to the world, in whatever way that they do, giving of themselves in some way, have been shown to be, overall, happier and better adjusted people. They are giving Of Themselves and Being Fulfilled by that giving.

The next one does not look like a paradox on the face of it. I believe, for myself, that the paradox is in the practical aspects of it. This one is the concept of "Just For Today". In the recovery world Just For Today is a simple thing. It means that today is the only time that I have to abstain from whatever behavior that I am in recovery from. Whether it is substance use, sex, overeating, shopping, etc, whatever it is, Just For Today I will abstain from this. Relieves a lot of pressure.

Does JFT mean that we do not plan for the future? That we do not look forward? No. It does not. What it means is that JFT I am never going to engage in X again and that Today I will live my life in such a way that it is unlikely that the want for that behavior will arise. And in planning the future we make the plan, live in such a way that will help this plan to fruition, and then adjust as life happens along the way. Everything is in the moment.

So, Just For Today, has meaning. And in my experience that is Living In The Moment. Or, as people have put it so succinctly, Make the Plan and Let Go of the Result.

So, for me, the Paradox is this, one plans for a future while doing everything in the now. And then adapting as we go to changing life and circumstances.

So how does this work out in the rest of the world? Very simply, make the plan, to buy the house, get the job, have the barbecue, whatever the plan is, go ahead and plan it. And then do, in the moment, whatever is needed in that moment to advance this plan. Let go of all of the notions of what the results of that plan are going to look like. This allows you to adjust the plans as life happens. And, sometimes, this adjustment means letting go of this plan entirely as life happens and circumstances change.

JFT allows for me to be able to adjust to life without, necessarily, having all the emotional drama that can show up when my plans do not happen the way that I want them to.

And Living in the Moment allows me to be much more Reality Centered in my life. Seeing things as they are rather than as the fantasy I can create inside my head says that it aught to be.

There are more. In my opinion our lives are full of paradoxes.

So, my questions for you:

• What are the Paradoxes of your life?
• Where are you living in the future instead of the now?
• Where are you in trying to live inside of two "mutually exclusive" conditions?

This life we live can be grand and glorious. It can also be very confusing. We live in both.

So, Life is a Paradox.

May you live yours Gloriously 💖

Peace ✌