It Wasn't Easy

 ... The Right Thing Usually Isn't.

I was listening to another one of those stories on social media. And this line was said. And I thought that I really need to tackle this. Not because I disagree. I agree with it totally. Because I really want to unpack this and see what it looks like for me and maybe see something that I am missing.

Whatever that unknown thing may be.

Now let us look at the environment that surrounds that statement. I believe that Society that we live in makes this statement relevant throughout our history.

If one studies history, as I do, we can see that Appearance has always mattered more than Substance. As long as everything looks good then everything is good. Right? The fact that inside everything is barren and broken, that there is no happiness or peace, that every day we feel a little more hollow and/or dead inside, none of that matters. Because we MUST keep up appearances'.

Even when we are committing a wrong and hurtful thing, or looking away from a wrong and hurtful thing, in order to keep up the appearance that everything is just fine. "Move along folks. Nothing to see here."

To go against that, to state the thing that everyone can see and that no one will admit or acknowledge, is not easy. It can be very uncomfortable at the minimum.

To live in a world where the emperor is naked and everyone is complementing his clothes and then say that "The Emperor has no clothes" takes a type of Moral Courage that is sadly lacking in adults in our society today.

Or, closer to home, to look inside ourselves and see what does not fit our image of who we want to be, take responsibility for it not fitting your own self image, and then doing something about it. That takes an amount of courage that most people do not have.

And again, it is not easy. Just ask anyone in a 12 Step Recovery program about the "Gift of Desperation". They will tell you that in order to get to where they would finally do something other than the thing that was killing them on the installment plan, mentally, emotionally, and/or physically, it took an amount of pain that is mind boggling in order to reach the desperation needed to finally admit and accept that it was either change or die. Very painful. And yet, we call it a Gift.

And looking throughout History and right to the present day we can see that any great accomplishment never came easily. It takes time, organization, a lot of work, probably falling one one's face many times and getting up again, before finally getting to where it is finally a success.

And getting back to the personal inside work needed to become something that is greater than what had been, it takes time, support, backsliding and falling down, going thru Fear and Failing, all to get up again and keep going. Before finally getting to a place where one can see that a transformation has occurred. And then to realize that there is yet more to be done. That the journey of transformation will never truly end.

I find that the hardest and most difficult thing to do, that is never easy and yet the most Right thing and most Worth it thing, repairing damaged relationships. Both with others, Family, Friends, Co-Workers, etc, and with one's own Self.

Repairing relationships with others is usually not as hard as we make it out to be. It involves getting very clear on how the relationship was damaged, what exactly my part was in the damaging of that relationship, owning it completely and not trying to excuse it, and then seeing what I need to do in order to amend that damage.

And while doing all of that I have to go thru all of the emotional baggage that I carry around that event, the lies, explanations, justifications, etc, and move beyond them so that when I am in the amends process I can be fully and completely in the process without my own sh*t getting in the way.

Easy. Right? 😂

Still, this is, for me, still the easier one.

It is the repairing of the relationship with Self that is the most difficult. For me.

I find this to be so because I have been programmed from a very young age that I am Wrong. And I seem to have an impossible time moving past that. Even though I know that was from someone who had their own demons to face and never really did. I know that this is a lie yet there is a part of me that still does not seem to be able to move past it.

I also have a 24/7 365 track of all of the reasons that I really am wrong and a failure etc. Sometimes I can barely hear it. Other times it is extremely loud. It is always going usually somewhere between quiet and loud.

All of these things, whether exposing the lies that our society tells itself, exposing the lies that we tell ourselves, being different in a world that demands conformity, looking within to fix things instead of looking outward to blame others and things, etc, all of these are difficult. And all of these are the Right thing to do.

The question then becomes, Do I/We have the Moral Courage to do these things?

And I think that the answer for most of us is not really. For some of us occasionally. For a very few of us most of the time.

It is not easy to Be a Person of Integrity in a society that demands conformity.

It is not easy to be a Person who States the Truth in a world built on believing a lie.

It is easy to look away and make excuses.

It is easy to go along to get along.

It is Hard to Stand Alone or with a Minority and Demand Equality and Truth.

It is hard to Speak Truth to Power.

It is easy to look around and Blame Others and Situations.

It is hard to Look inside and be Responsible.

And kinfolk, I do not do any of this perfectly. I struggle and fall and have to keep getting up just like anyone else.

The real Victory is the staying in the Struggle to be something today that is greater than what we were yesterday.

Be Victorious my Friends.

Be Victorious ✌