We Are Defined By The Company We Keep

"And How Well We Keep It"

I like to read. I have ever since I learned how to read. Very early in my reading "career" I fell in love with, among many genres, Science Fiction. I still read a lot of Sci-Fi.

There was one book that I read a long time ago, and shall soon reread I think, and very early on the two protagonists meet. And after they meet and separate the "Hero" is discussing a matter involving some things with another person. And, almost as an aside says the following about the other protagonist:

"I admit I hadn't any notion of the part that W****** played in the matter - he's apparently an absolute devil."

Now the person he was talking to was rather rattled by this and basically asked who had told him such a thing. And the following dialog took place:

"No one. It's obvious isn't it?"

"Not to ninety nine percent of the civilized worlds it isn't. What made it so obvious to you?"

"Certainly any man can be judged by the character and actions of the people with which he surrounds himself. And this W****** has an entourage of ruined and distorted people."

"You mean me?"

"Naturally not. After all, you're D*****."

"Your faith in our common origin is... quite refreshing. Go on. On this piece of evidence you read William's character, do you?"

"Oh, not just that. Stop and think of the fact that the S****** of K***** finds herself at odds with him. And the good instincts of the S***** are inbred.Also, he seems to be an almost frighteningly brilliant sort of man, in that he can dominate personalities like Anea, and this fellow Montor, from N***** - who must be a rather high level mind himself to have rated as he did on his tests."

"And someone that brilliant must be a devil?"

"Not at all. But having such intellectual capabilities, a man must show proportionately greater inclinations toward either good or evil than lesser people. If he tends towards evil, he may mask it in himself - he may even mask it's effects on the people with which he surrounds himself. But he has no way of producing the reflections of good which would ordinarily be reflected from his lieutenants and initiates - and which, if he was truly good - he would have no reason to try and hide. And by that lack, you can read him."

This was the first time that I was introduced to the idea that one can lie to everyone, even one's own self, about who and what they are, and that the people that you had around you would give away who you are every time to those that could look.

And over the years I have found this a very useful skill. By looking at the people around someone I am given everything that I need to know in order to see who and what they are.

And also by looking at who I am attracting at any given time I can see where I am as a Human Being as well. Am I attracting people who are emotionally intelligent, kind, of a giving nature, etc? Or am I attracting people who are in some way less than they could be? If I am attracting people who are not the kind of people that I want around me then where am I falling short of Being Whole and Authentic within myself?

I then can also look at how well I am keeping and/or maintaining the relationships I have with the people around me. Am I doing the things that are healthy to maintain the Family, Friends, Work, etc relationships that I have? Or am I neglecting them expecting others to do the maintaining for me? Am I trying to dominate others to support my own self image? Where in this process am I Being Responsible for these relationships and where am I just letting things coast along or trying to fix, manage, and control, until they naturally break?

By looking at these things I am able to keep myself on the path that I wish to be on and stay in the direction of Becoming the person I want to be. And by straying from these things I am diverting from the path that I wish to be on to becoming the person that I want to be and, by default, becoming the person whom I do not like.

And in the world around me it helps as well. Whenever I am unsure about another I look to see who is around them and the relationship they have with those people. And in that I know who they are.

So today I look at the people who are on the Right side of the Political spectrum. And I see people who are afraid. And in that Fear they are becoming ruined and distorted people. And they are surrounding themselves with the same ruined and distorted people. People who are afraid. And they are keeping those relationships quite well. Reinforcing them in every way that they can.

Because, like all of us, they seek Community. And the community that they are in is based in Fear. The fear of not being enough. The fear of not having enough. The fear of losing what they do have to these vague and mysterious Others. The fear of Being Inconsequential. Fear.

Being this type of people then they are attracted to the same type of people. People who afraid and cannot admit it. People who project loud confidence and certainty while telling the ones attracted to them that their problems are not their fault it is the fault of Others. Who those others are is interchangeable depending on the time, place, and situations that one is in.

And in looking at these things I am reminded that I have been that person, that it has taken a lot of work within My Self to not be that person, and that I can be that person again if I stop doing the things that I am doing.

So, I have Empathy for the people who are locked into that way of being. And I know that I cannot help them. It will take an amazing amount of emotional pain for them to see the trap that they are in. That being said, while I have empathy, I will not let them off the hook for their actions, attitudes, and behaviors while they are in this cult of personality that is the Right side of the political spectrum today.

Anyway, I am today doing my best to have people around me who reflect to others who I am and aim to be. And I can only do that by Being the Person who would attract that type of person to me. And then doing the Healthy things needed to maintain those relationships.

Because, while I have every single Fear of not being enough etc as anyone else, I do not have to live there today. I can be Someone Greater than my Fears would dictate.

Because I have a Community that helps me to do this.

I have all of You.

Namaste 🙏