A Variety of Thoughts About Everything

 I have been paying very little attention to the story of the five rich people who went down to view the Titanic wreck on the ultra deep submersible. I was pretty sure that they were already dead. At that depth any tiny thing goes wrong and it is pretty quick, like nano seconds, and it is over. The pressure at that depth is immense. I did, however, see the reactions of a lot of different people. Some people trying for humor, and rarely succeeding, some people trying to be supportive of the people and families, prayers etc, and some people just flat out denigrating the people involved, and others just getting "in the face" of anyone making fun of this. And then the news of what I suspected, they were dead and probably had been since the moment that communication was lost. Not unexpected by me and, I suspect, a lot of others. And the reactions kicked up. And the ones that I found most interesting were the ones that said, basically, these rich people got themselves into this why

 I was reading a story in The Commons , Unhealthy and deeply destructive , and the basic idea was that the Right was reprehensible the "Extreme Left" was just as bad. He claims to have been a Democrat and now cannot. The writers exact words were "  I have generally voted Democrat my entire adult life. However, in recent times, a frightening portion of the left has become so extreme that it is at times on parity with the extremist right." What I read after this makes it extremely unlikely that this person was ever a Democrat. What follows seems to have come directly off of Fox "News" or any of the extreme Right Wing propaganda sights. " The extreme left doesn't believe in working. They believe work is an affliction and associate employment with pain. An honest day's work is good for one's mental health, physical health, and self-respect, yet, the extreme left believes everything should be done for you. This is not sustainable for a healthy

 I grew up in a very large family. And we were a very loud, noisy, lot. We talked, yelled, shouted, a lot. There was noise wherever we went. Yet, I learned, and I suspect the others did as well, very early in life to not communicate. To stay away from feelings, or anything real about who I am in this world. So I spent years out in the world making a lot of noise. People who knew me back then knew me as a loud and sometimes obnoxious person who made a lot of racket. Yet I was essentially alone. I was a chameleon who could be anyone but myself in an effort to fit in. I made a lot of noise with my mouth trying to get you to like me only to drive you away. I no longer knew the difference between Truth and Fantasy as I had been spinning fantasies to create the person that you would like that I had lost track of the truth many years before. And I was a lyer. I was lying all the time to myself about who I am and I lied to you because I had lost the ability to not lie to you. I told lies at ti

 I have this friend that I have known since the summer of 1989. He is quite possibly the best friend that I have in the world even though we are very different people. And I have developed a tradition with this friend, beginning in 2002 I think when I moved out to San Diego for a couple of years. And this is when in an unusual place I would call him up and ask him "So, where do you think I am now?" and then usually give a little evil laugh. He would make some wildly improbable guess and then I would laugh and tell him where I was. Once in Petco Park watching a Baseball game. Once from the NA World Convention in San Antonio TX while at the ZZ Top concert. Etc... Sometimes I have to leave him a voicemail, and I ask the question, give a cackle, and then tell him. Like over Labor Day Weekend recently, when I left him a voicemail telling him I had ridden my motorcycle to Hampton Beach NH and was looking at the Ocean. He has told me many times that he loves travelling the world vic

 For as long as I can remember I have had a deep connection with music. And with the music comes also memories of the time and sometimes specific events attached to that music. And that brings up, FEELINGS!!! I was just recalling when I was in Grade school, Way School in Claremont NH to be specific, we used to have Music class. And we would always sing. 2 of my favorites to sing were the English version of "Hymn for Nations" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony, I can still recall the lines "Brother shout your countries Anthem, sing your lands undying fame", and the Hava Nagila. And to this day "Beethoven's 9th Symphony" and the Hava Nagila are 2 of my favorite pieces of music ever. Growing up I heard a lot of Classical and Opera from my Mum. She really Loved Classical Music. And when she put on Opera, I disappeared as quickly as I could because she was doing House Cleaning and would press gang kids into cleaning with her unless really quick and sneaky 😇

 When looking back on my life there is not a time where I felt as if I ever really fit in. There was something profoundly different, wrong, about me and I did not fit. The oddball. And that was with my Family, when I went to school, or any other place. No matter how hard I tried, and I did, I was never really, in my mind, a Part Of. I was always Apart From. And over the years I made many choices based on that feeling of Being Alone. It colored every aspect of my life. I was always trying to fit in and never quite achieving it. And, of course, when one Is a certain way and making choices based on Being that way everything that is done only provides more evidence of how correct I really am. I somehow managed for several years in my 7th and 8th grades of schooling to have these friends that I hung out with. Myself, Ed, Bill, Mike, and Dave. We were for some years around each other all the time. And like all of my other relationships, they did not last. Over the years we drifted apart. I t