Mental Distractions and Other Avoidance "Therapies"
My first drug was my imagination. At a very young age I began retreating inside my imagination to create a world where I mattered. As I felt that in the world as it is I do not matter. And my imagination also became my first Avoidance "Therapy". And I call it that because when I was in my imagination then I did not have to deal with the real world. I could avoid all of the unpleasantness that was my reality. And, like all addictions, over time this was no longer sufficient. So I developed other ways to avoid reality. Reading was a huge one. I could get lost in a book where the world around me did not exist at all. This was, I have known for years, an extension of and fuel for my imagination. I also began the blame game. IE; my life was everyone else's fault. I bore no responsibility thus there was nothing for me to fix. Why should I look at what is clearly, to me, yours to fix? I should not. There was also the variation of the Blame Game called the Self Pity game. Becaus